Behind every strong man is a stronger woman....

I miss the children when I'm at work, I try keep work to what it needs to be but inevitably I have to work more than 40 hour weeks, I know that, my girlfriend knows that, its the way it is but I always try to rush home to see the kids before they go to bed, unless I'm working a late shift and then theres no chance as I don't finish until midnight.

I am envious of my beautiful girlfriend, although I know that she in return is envious of me. I envy her that she gets to be around the kids all day and do constructive things with them and create memories that they will learn to cherish and look back on fondly and cherish as she cherishes the time with them also. Whilst I am at work, don't get me wrong I enjoy my work and find it rewarding and challenging, but I enjoy spending time with my family more, naturally.

But I am also well aware that my girlfriend is also envious of me for the exact opposite, that I can go out and work and try build something for myself outside of the family home. That I am earning money and not reliant on government handouts that barely let you support your family if your a honest person as she is due to the system being flooded by chances who make it harder for the honest people out there. She misses as well an adult conversation during the day time and I can admit it that given we switched roles for a week I'd probably be dying to go back to work also, as she is.

It's been hard for her since going on maternity leave and I feel and worry about her everyday whilst I am at work. She has one child to contend with that can't communicate and another who due to our circumstances financially we can't allow regular time with other children her age. I know there is help out there but when you seek this help it's not a fast response and we are pursuing this help. It's funny because as soon as you owe money to an authority be it the council etc they hound you and make you feel guilty but when the shoe is on the other foot and you are trying to get the help and support they tell you you are entitled too they drag their feet like a meerkat in a desert!

I guess what I originally set out to say in this post and what has transformed into a rant is that I am very grateful for my girlfriend. She feels trapped some days and helpless like she can't cope, and I try everyday when I read her blog posts and talk to her while I am at work to put my feet in her shoes and understand what she's feeling and how she's coping. And I can say this despite what she says, and what she thinks of herself, shes doing a great job, I had the kids for one day and the littlest one ended up upside down in her pram and the eldest complaining that her hands were too cold! My girlfriend, does a fantastic job everyday and every time I come home the three girls have had a great day.

Thank you Pooh x

Ahhhh Attack of the giant Rabbit and racing ladies

Ahhhh Saturdays. In Saturdays gone by that a resigned to my past and folklore I would usually spend them waking up, having a bacon buttie (possibly with a hangover) armed witha cup of tea I'd laze around the living room in my very fashionable Teenage mutant ninja turtle lounge pants and batman t-shirt and watch Soccer A.M often laughing and Tubes' random but very funny mad rap skills.

After which I'd then shower and get change, have a walk to the local shop to get something to eat for the evening and place a few bets on the days football action to make it a little bit more interesting before going back home to watch Gillette Soccer Saturday and embarrassing the banter in screen as though I as there taking part in it myself, eager to see if my bets would pay out often ending in heart break and swearing, and being in a sulk against the team who didn't come through for my pay out and swearing that I will forever hold a grudge and hate that team.

However, Saturdays are a different question now, for one I could be working. If not I now spend it with the family. I still place my bets, and try watch soccer Saturday and soccer am although it might be watched as a delay on sky+ later. The bacon butty is also essential to start my day as are the lounge pants!

Last week in my previous post, Smiles,Frowns and one very drunk rabbit You would have read that it was my first day left alone with the 2 girls whilst mummy went out for the day to be an adult. Well firstly thank you for all the kind comments, e-mails and tweets asking how it all went. Well the truth is..... I cheated, the day ended up being spent with my mum, and my two sisters and my nephew and the girls. So in all honesty, I cheated, if I as a footballer it would have been a straight red card for a blatant to footed tackle! (unless you're a Manchester united player as they get away with murder week in week out) as they helped looked after the girls and treated us all to lunch in the process. My family live about 70 minutes away so it was nice for them all to come and help, the girls enjoyed it and so do I. I am sorry I let all you down who read my blog and have been asking how it all went.

However I shall make it upto you all right now as today, this Saturday was a different story. Mummy went out for the day with her sister and I have been left with both girls all by myself, Yikes ! So how has today gone you may ask? So far so good, I woke up in my Muppet lounge pants and batman t-shirt, the missus cooked us a lovely full English breakfast before leaving us. Then I got the girls ready, made a bottle. As I tried getting the pram out of the house with baby strapped in the pram seat flipped 180 degrees so baby was trapped in but facing upside down, I was so scared that she was hurt but no tears nothing, I got her out to check and she cried when i help her, but she is all fine and not a scratch. We got the train into town and all the way there she was looking to me as to say, "you're a numpty daddy fancy not checking the seat was fully fixed on!"

Whilst in town we also saw a giant rabbit which made eldest happy but nervous at the same time as she ironically clutched her beloved rabbit who was made to look tiny in comparison to the giant rabbit. She wouldn't get her picture next to it as she was too scared even if the nice lady tried to get her to touch it. Then we stopped so me and Eldest ER could get a cake to eat after lunch and then we headed home. We got the train and the only time we weren't offered any help on the train today came on our way home. Te train pulled up and we were in a race with a 40 odd year old lady who was determined to beat me, the pram and eldest to the door of the train, didn't offer to help and then tried to make conversation with me on the train, the cheek of some people!



As we got home I fed both children and managed to put my bets on, obviously I couldn't do this in town as firstly children aren't allowed in betting shops but most importantly what sort of Daddy would take there children into a betting shop? So I did it all online, then eldest helped change the youngest child and then proceeded to give Rabbit a change of nappy (I think he was that scared of the giant rabbit earlier her pooed himself)

And that brings us up to right now. Eldest is playing and youngest is sleeping so I think I'll have a cuppa and watch Soccer Saturday. We've had a good day so far no naughty step and no tears, we shall set off soon to Nanny's where we will meet mummy. Thank you for all your kind messages last week, I hope every time I have the girls is as easy as this, me thinks not though.

How to succeed in fitness

It's a new year and we all know what that means, endless talk fo new goals, a new year, a new you. Up and down the country thousands upon thousands of people are dusting off their gym kit that hasn't been used since last January and saying this year will be my year to get into shape, to get fit.

Yet the truth of the matter is that most don't, most fall by the wayside even before January ends and a few months later haven't got anywhere near there goals, may have even cancelled their gym membership as they realised their money was going to the gym but they weren't!

Any of this sound familar? It should do, those of you who have recently made the new years resolution ask yourself how many times you plan to go to the gym per week? Whats your answer, 3? 4? 5? days a week?

Recent studies have shown that the average member uses their membership only 0.9 times a week. Not even 1 visit a week. Thats a huge difference from when you tell yourself I'm going to the gym 3/4 times this week. Why does this happen then? Well it's simple people aren't being smart and realistic with their expectations and goals. So how can you avoid falling into your traditional yearly pitfall of failure in the fitness department? Follow these simple tips:

1/ Don't do it for anyone else but you:
Why do YOU want to get fit? What do you think fit is? Don't be bullied into getting a beach body because your favourite actor or singer has. Don't think that because it's your best friends edding you HAVE to lose weight. Do it for yourself. Events like holidays and weddings do help motivate you but what happens whe they have passed? What happens when its 2 weeks before the big event and you realise you haven't been to the gym and are nowhere near getting into shape? If you want to do then think about what fitness means to you and deep down why you want to get fit. Only then can you.....

2/ Set Realistic and SMART goals:
When setting goals always think S.M.A.R.T,
S= Specific -  Tone? No not right, what is tone? Specific is I want to have clear muscle definition in my arms, abdominals and quads.
M= Measureable - How are you going to determine you've been a success? I am a 36 waist I want to be a 32 waist.
A= Achievable - saying you want to be 10 dresses sizes slimmer by 2 weeks isn't achieveable, and by not achieving goals you become disinterested. Set yourself small goals to a bigger aim for example drop a dress size in 4 weeks.
R= Realistic - Becoming Mr Olympia within 2 months ain't gonna happen, think about what you want.
T= Time - Again wanting things to happen too soon will make you disinterested in what you are doing

3/ Seek professional help and advice:
Don't be scared Fitness coaches and Personal trainers don't bite. We don't sit in the staff room and laugh at people who ask us for advice, we do our job because we love what we do and are passionate about helping people, we get awfully big headed when we help someone towards their goals and reach them goals, we love it and live off it. So with that in mind ask us. Go to the right gyms and you won't even be charged for this help it's included in your membership. At my club a member is entitled to get a programme review from the fitness staff every 4 weeks as free, but only 2% of members take up this option.

4/ Plan and review:
Plan i your workouts, but also plan in your rest periods. If you have a 9-5 job great, but many people don't so try and plan your workouts around your work / sleep patterns. Remember a workout doesn't have to last 1 hour, if you are smart in your training not time wasting you can do an effective workout in 25 minutes, so theres no excuse.
It's also important to review what you are doing on a regualr basis to ensure you don't get stuck in a rut and keep doing the same thing, the Humany body (as cheesy as it may sound) is a fantastic thing that can quickly adapt and will figure out what you are trying to do, so in other words confuse the hell out of your body, it may hurt the next day but thats a sign your body is working hard.

5/ Enjoy:
If I had a £1 for everytime someone said they don't like the treadmill I'd be rich. Yet people still think they need to use the treadmill. If you don't like it why are you doing it? How many times have you gone to the gym and cut something short or skipped it entirely or made it easier because you don't like it or find it boring? Gym's nowdays have many different pieces of kit and classes, try something different, there are plenty of options and as long as you ask a professional they will be able to adapt it and make it work for YOUR goals.

I hope these tips help you get to your goals and make for a happy 2012 in fitness. Please feel free to follow me on Twitter or contact me through the blog for any further help of advice.

Unbelievable Jeff !

Sat here trying to think what to write for this weeks blog post and it's a bit challenging. I'm sat here as my girlfriend has gone for her first run post pregnancy. Eldest child is a sleep in bed, as to is the youngest. My laptop placed on my knee and Gillette Soccer Saturdays Christmas special is on T.V (Purely because I didn't get time to watch it over Christmas so I shall watch it now.)  I love watching the Soccer Saturday show, it makes me laugh and has all the highs and lows of football, the joy of winning and the sorrow of losing as well as the laughter of the banter between friends that you feel a part of , anyway back to my post.....

Everyday this year (I know we are only 6 days into it) I have updated my blog by participating in the 366 challenge, this has allowed me the chance to find an opportunity each day to take a photo and post it on my blog. So far I've took a photo of myself with a basket on my head, a few of my daughter, a mad face that I drew and a photo of my M&M sweet dispenser, (the missus says this item is ruining her peaceful and ideal dining room.

I'm finding doing this challenge as I term it great, I am eagerly always looking for a great photo to shoot and uplaod, to capture a unique moment in the day with my camera and then think of a quirky pun for each photo.

This makes me think, I have always enjoyed taking photos and upload them on Facebook / Twitter etc and have always enjoyed looking through them on my laptop and getting them printed out and framing them. Today through the post came a leaflet about adult courses taking place at a local school....hang on them thoughts for one of moment please Chris Kamara is just on screen singing, its always a cry with laughter moment when he's on screen.....

Unbelievable Jeff ! Anywho as I was saying a leaflet came through the door about adult learning courses. My girlfriend has always been looking at these to do and for something to do. I noticed they had photography courses and I admit it would be nice to do something like this, I guess the reason why I'm writing about this partly because I have nothing else to write about but, also if I've wrote it and published it then I will have more emphasis to do it.

So for 2012 I am not going to write some resolution on how I want to better myself, if I want to do that I don't need to wait till the start of a new year, week or month I'll just do it. My challenge to myself this year is to improve myself in something I enjoy doing, I am going to do a beginners photography course, just something for me to enjoy and hopefully get good at. 

Anyway the missus has just came back from her run, panting, breathless and saying, "I'm F@#£ing Knackered" guess she enjoyed her run, or at least I hope it was just a run ;)

2011, what a rush!

So we have but less than 2 days of 2011 left, 2012 is just around the corner. For many of us that will mean New years resolutions, Diets, Fitness fads etc.

So in this blog piece I'd like to take one last reflection of 2011.

To me 2011 has been one hell of a year, its been hectic and so much change, but change for the good. To be honest 2011 has been one of the best in living memory to me.

As I was driving to work earlier today I was thinking, as I usually do. I quite enjoy my drive to work as I don't work in conventional times so I don't get stressed by rush hour traffic. Instead I get a nice drive, get to listen to the radio and collect my thoughts. As I was doing so this morning I was thinking about where I was this time last year, in a kind of review of myself.

This time last year I was single, living in a shared house with 5 other people, 2 of which were good friends of mine and about to move out themselves. Work was going ell but I was eager for change and wanted to get a promotion to prove I could step up. I never really set new years resolutions, In fact I set one about 3 years ago and have religious stuck to it ever since, I set myself the resolution to never set new years resolutions and that if I wanted to improve myself I'd just do it, rather than wait for a new year or new month or new week. So for 2011 I intended on keeping to that resolution and set myself the goal to ensure I'd get the step up I wanted from work.

2011 started like many other years, I went to a party to toast the year in and went home to my room in my house share alone. Little did I know that in just 6 weeks I'd meet someone who'd change my life forever. By mid February I went on a first date with a woman, She turned up to the date wearing flowery pants and I can remember thinking that she was quite different, she was confident and independent. As the night went on I enjoyed her company more so and though this was someone I really liked.

By another 6 weeks we were an official couple and expecting the birth of our first child together. This obviously shocked us, but we were happy and bracing ourselves for a future together. Add into the mix my, now girlfriend already having a 3 year old child and already 3months into the year my life had drastically changed, but changed for the good, I was happy and after introducing my girlfriend to my family I remember one of my sisters saying that her and my mother had noticed how happy I was, like they hadn't seen me for a long time.

Over the next couple of months came many events and getting prepared for our baby. Most notably moving in together in between going to various music festivals and BBQ's. Then in September I achieved my main aim of the year in getting a promotion at work. This was obviously great timing with a new arrival on the way.

Most importantly in this year though, in November was the birth of my first child and my girlfriends second. It was a special moment for us and going into the new year makes our family feel complete. If you've read my previous posts on this subject you'll know with how much pride and relief this gave me being at the birth and how much in awe of my girlfriend I am.

Looking back on this year makes me realise how much has changed, how much I've had to grow up and become responsible. I am very grateful and thankful for all the elements that went into this year. I only aim to make next year better by continuing on the work I've done this year, ensuring I'm successful both in the family front and in the work front.

I guess to wrap up 2011 I must say this, Thanks to everyone for reading my blog, I promise the next one won't be like some terrible review show that you see on TV at this time of the year. And most importantly thank you to my girlfriend whose blog you can read here. She has been fantastic this year to me and has helped me get through the Ups and downs and everything. Thank you @peagreengwin I'm so happy beyond words and it's all down to her and I look forward to the future with her ever more so but I am pretty darn happy with the present and don't want to wish away the time right now, Live for the present guys!

See you all in 2012.

Movember - Strike back of the Tasche!

So I thought it as about time to give an update of all things Tasche related ! The Mo is growing very nicely, the massive sideburns have now gone as I decided to update my tasche and perfect it halfway through the month. This is how it now looks.....

So, theres nothing else much to report on this front, money is still being brought in, my mum has done a fantastic job like she did last year getting all her work colleagues to sponsor my furry upper lip. So far I have raised around £50 and ok its not a huge amount at least it's something and every little penny helps with research.

So only 6 days to go till my furry friend will be shaved off, but as I see Tom Selleck on T.V with his tasche I find comfort knowing that I could stand next to Tom and shout, Tom me and you are men and we have moustaches!

T minus 3 days and counting......

So it's finally here, we are within our last week of pregnancy (hopefully) 3 days to be precise until the baby, our new addition to our little family is due. I'm sure many fathers can relate to this post. By what I am about to write I  hope I don;t sound like I'm whinging, quite the opposite, I can't wait to be a father and understand my girlfriend has had to deal with so much and love her deeply so for going through it all.

This week, this time is very scary, and horrible but as equally, weirdly, exciting. You may notice the words there, lets break them down. Firstly scary, why is this time scary? Well any day now, I will be a father for the first time. I am solely responsible, as well with my partner for the health and well being of another. This child will look up to me need me to care for it, feed it, bath it, cloth it, all round be responsible for it. This can be quite a scary though, couple that that the first couple years of the child's life it can't actually tell me what is wrong. I've looked after and worked with children before but they have always been able to communicate with me verbally, telling me when they needed feeding, when they weren't feeling well. For these reasons alone this time is scary as the ticking clock draws nearer.

However it is also scary to know that soon enough my girlfriend will be screaming all sorts of obscenities towards me accusing me of doing all this to her, and then knowing that in some way she will be plotting her revenge ;)

Ok so the next word, Horrible. Why is this time horrible? For this sole reason, and I hope other Dad's felt like this. Picture the scene, your sitting comfortably on the couch with your heavily pregnant loved one. She then winces in pain, you jump up saying are you ok? is it contractions? shall I get the car ready, already halfway out the door with your jacket on clutching the hospital bag that resembles something more like you used when you went bag packing for 6 months, than a simple bag to take to the hospital. Your girlfriend then smiles and goes no, I just had a pain in my big toe. At this point the man wants to say, I don't care about your big toe, I thought you were going into labour!!!!! This time is also horrible as everytime you are not with your partner and your phone starts ringing you are again, halfway out the door with your coat on just to realise the person on the other end of the phone is someone trying to sell you a credit card or something, and you have to muster all your strength to politely tell them where to go.

Lastly exciting. Well this needs no real explanation. It is such an exciting time to know that any day soon, our baby who my girlfriend has carefully looked after and loved and had to carry around for the last 9 months will be here ready to meet everyone, meet her eagerly waiting big sister and her nanny and Nana and grandpa's and most importantly in my eyes meet me, My girlfriend has had 9 months getting to know the baby and feels this fantastic connection, and even though I often speak to the baby and feel its twists it turns and its kicks and punches, I will feel an even deeper connection when I get to hold my child in my arms for the first time and see there little face, this will make all the times I've jumped towards the car and revenge my girlfriend will throw at me all worthwhile.

But then you think, I've passed my DNA on to an unsuspecting world, what have I done......

Movember

It is now 8 days into the month formally known as November, for those of you questioning what has happened to November, it's name has changed to Movember. You may have thought the world has gone crazy if you've stepped out your house and noticed many men sporting a furry upper lip. This is what Movember has done, it's a way for men to help make more men aware of male illness's and cancers such as prostate and testicular, cancers which kill so many men, yet in most cases are easily curable. Check the Movember website out here for more details and you can donate here

It's been shown in recent years that promoting awareness helps, look at what women do with the run for life where women run 10k to raise breast cancer awareness or the tinkled pink promotion where they ask people to wear pink etc. For men it's simple the whole month of November you grow a Mo, a moustache. Simple, start 1st Movember freshly shaven and then let everyone see that you can grow facial hair, that you are a man! Women can also bet involved, by supporting men, drawing a moustache on at events etc, as men who participate are called Mo Bro's, women are called Mo' Sisters. Obviously different peoples ability to grow facial hair dictates on there success/humiliation factor, but at the end of the day they are trying, are you? Well heres my effort so far.....

Movember is there to raise money for research into Men's cancers and to, maybe most importantly to encourage men to go see there doctors for a simple check up. Men statistically fail to do this, as men we often notice something may not be right with our health and shy away and neglect it, hoping that if we forget about it then it'll go away, but you know what guys, this is down right stupid, we can't do this, this is playing with your own life, your own health, probably both physically and mentally.

Let me give you an example. When I was around 15, I noticed a lump. Now being that age, I was scared, even more so because it was on one of my testicles. I wasn't sure what to do, so I ignored it, I didn't tell anyone, I didn't try to speak to my doctor, I was defiantly not going to speak to my parents or my friends. At 15 I thought the best thing to do was try forget about it, surely it was nothing and after a couple of days it would go away, life would go on as usual and I'd carry on like nothing ever happened. But guess what, it didn't go away, I would often think and worry about it thinking that something was wrong with me, it was my fault this had happened, it was something I had done or I was weird and if anyone found out they would laugh at me.

I let this go on for 3 years, Knowing full well that this could be something serious, that it could possibly be the Big C. After 3 years I'd decided enough was enough, I'm being stupid and playing Russian roulette with my own life not knowing, and knew that there was only one thing to do. So I made an appointment with my Doctor, within 5 minutes of breaking down to the doctor and being checked I was assured that it wasn't cancerous and more that likely a simple Cyst that wouldn't affect me. They did thorough testing and within the week the results came back as clear. Overnight relief for something I had worried about for over 3 years, so how stupid had I been.

I often think that them 3 years of my life, the sleepless nights, the anxiety, the worry could've been easily avoided had I simply seen my doctor. After all they are qualified to help, they are professional people who won't laugh at me, snigger behind my back, or tell the whole town about me. But you know what the worst thing was, having to tell my own mother that for 3 years I had been so stupid with my health, having to tell my family who only care and want the best for me that something so simple could've been put to bed so easily. That even if the lump was cancerous that chances are early detection would've been successful and that by me putting it off I risked that success rate.

I could never imagine putting my loved ones through that again and so every Movember, I pledge to grow a Mo, raise some money, make men more aware of their health and most importantly get myself a check up, and if in the rest of the year I notice something is wrong, I'll be making an appointment straight away.

So this is why Movember means a lot to me, I support any charity that supports men's health because although I have been incredibly lucky in my story that unfortunately somewhere another guy is doing exactly what I did all those years ago, and risking his life and being stupid and foolish. Guys if you notice something is wrong go see your Doctor. Get a check up every year, it doesn't take long, because if you don't you might be playing Russian Roulette with your own life.

So once again please donate to help raise awareness and help to find treatments. You can donate here
Thank you.