Day 95 God I Love Blighty

Wow what a country this truely is. I've been lucky u e manage to travel and go to various different places. Each holds special memories and a place in my heart for various different reasons. But let's be honest, you e got to be proud to be British. We've got the Queen, James Bond, Cricket, Football, the 1966 world cup, beer, comedy, infact you name it we've got it.

Where am I going with this you may ask, well the great British weather that's where. You've got to love it, I mean only in Britain can you one week walk down the streets in your shorts at the beginnings of the summer weather and walk past a guy who seems it warm enough to not wear any top at all yet he's clearly going blue as its not that hot yet. And then the next week you get snow! Only in good ol' Blighty can this happen. I suppose somewhere has got to house these half nudists!

So today's picture is the snow, of course. Enjoy....

Day 43: A special day....

Today is the anniversary of a special day. You see a year ago today I had my first date with a very special lady. My OH Peagreen Gwin. Our first date happened in a mutual place, in Harrogate where we now currently reside together. It Happened in a Bar called Alberts. Neither of us knew Harrogate particularly well, we'd ask friends to suggest places to go and this was where we'd settled on. It was nothing fancy, we'd decided we'd keep it simple and meet for drinks, so we can converse with one another.

It was 2 days before Valentines, I'd got to the bar around 20 minutes early, I'd drove so I couldn't get myself drunk and make a fool of myself. I still remember how she looked when she walked in the room. She stood out from the great, so beautiful, so independent, strong and confident. She stood out (and not because she as walking floral carpet trousers) but because to me she as the most beautiful woman in the room. I couldn't take my eyes off her all night and loved every minute of that evening.

I remember we had a good night kiss as I waited with her for her taxi, I was nervous and she led the way in for the kiss. She confessed after that she thought I didn't like her because I didn't lead for the kiss but once I'd got home she knew I liked her as I sent her a text to say I hope she got home safe and that I'd had fun. What I've never told her is that from the night on, I've been crazy about her and have never stopped thinking about her. She is my world, and everyday I love her more and more. Thank you Peagreen Gwin.

Today doesn't mark our anniversary, this is just the anniversary of our first date. But it would be a significant date in our lives. Without this meeting I'd never had got to meet her daughter ER.....

And of course this night would have been the night when TV was a twinkle in her mummys eye as she was far from our thoughts.....

I am so lucky to have met this wonderful woman and I can't wait to celebrate our official anniversary and make many more happy memories. It's been a rollercoaster first year, everything has happened so fast and changed so much, but I have never been happier and it's all down to this wonderful woman, Thank you Peagreen Gwin, I love you so much xxx

Behind every strong man is a stronger woman....

I miss the children when I'm at work, I try keep work to what it needs to be but inevitably I have to work more than 40 hour weeks, I know that, my girlfriend knows that, its the way it is but I always try to rush home to see the kids before they go to bed, unless I'm working a late shift and then theres no chance as I don't finish until midnight.

I am envious of my beautiful girlfriend, although I know that she in return is envious of me. I envy her that she gets to be around the kids all day and do constructive things with them and create memories that they will learn to cherish and look back on fondly and cherish as she cherishes the time with them also. Whilst I am at work, don't get me wrong I enjoy my work and find it rewarding and challenging, but I enjoy spending time with my family more, naturally.

But I am also well aware that my girlfriend is also envious of me for the exact opposite, that I can go out and work and try build something for myself outside of the family home. That I am earning money and not reliant on government handouts that barely let you support your family if your a honest person as she is due to the system being flooded by chances who make it harder for the honest people out there. She misses as well an adult conversation during the day time and I can admit it that given we switched roles for a week I'd probably be dying to go back to work also, as she is.

It's been hard for her since going on maternity leave and I feel and worry about her everyday whilst I am at work. She has one child to contend with that can't communicate and another who due to our circumstances financially we can't allow regular time with other children her age. I know there is help out there but when you seek this help it's not a fast response and we are pursuing this help. It's funny because as soon as you owe money to an authority be it the council etc they hound you and make you feel guilty but when the shoe is on the other foot and you are trying to get the help and support they tell you you are entitled too they drag their feet like a meerkat in a desert!

I guess what I originally set out to say in this post and what has transformed into a rant is that I am very grateful for my girlfriend. She feels trapped some days and helpless like she can't cope, and I try everyday when I read her blog posts and talk to her while I am at work to put my feet in her shoes and understand what she's feeling and how she's coping. And I can say this despite what she says, and what she thinks of herself, shes doing a great job, I had the kids for one day and the littlest one ended up upside down in her pram and the eldest complaining that her hands were too cold! My girlfriend, does a fantastic job everyday and every time I come home the three girls have had a great day.

Thank you Pooh x

2011, what a rush!

So we have but less than 2 days of 2011 left, 2012 is just around the corner. For many of us that will mean New years resolutions, Diets, Fitness fads etc.

So in this blog piece I'd like to take one last reflection of 2011.

To me 2011 has been one hell of a year, its been hectic and so much change, but change for the good. To be honest 2011 has been one of the best in living memory to me.

As I was driving to work earlier today I was thinking, as I usually do. I quite enjoy my drive to work as I don't work in conventional times so I don't get stressed by rush hour traffic. Instead I get a nice drive, get to listen to the radio and collect my thoughts. As I was doing so this morning I was thinking about where I was this time last year, in a kind of review of myself.

This time last year I was single, living in a shared house with 5 other people, 2 of which were good friends of mine and about to move out themselves. Work was going ell but I was eager for change and wanted to get a promotion to prove I could step up. I never really set new years resolutions, In fact I set one about 3 years ago and have religious stuck to it ever since, I set myself the resolution to never set new years resolutions and that if I wanted to improve myself I'd just do it, rather than wait for a new year or new month or new week. So for 2011 I intended on keeping to that resolution and set myself the goal to ensure I'd get the step up I wanted from work.

2011 started like many other years, I went to a party to toast the year in and went home to my room in my house share alone. Little did I know that in just 6 weeks I'd meet someone who'd change my life forever. By mid February I went on a first date with a woman, She turned up to the date wearing flowery pants and I can remember thinking that she was quite different, she was confident and independent. As the night went on I enjoyed her company more so and though this was someone I really liked.

By another 6 weeks we were an official couple and expecting the birth of our first child together. This obviously shocked us, but we were happy and bracing ourselves for a future together. Add into the mix my, now girlfriend already having a 3 year old child and already 3months into the year my life had drastically changed, but changed for the good, I was happy and after introducing my girlfriend to my family I remember one of my sisters saying that her and my mother had noticed how happy I was, like they hadn't seen me for a long time.

Over the next couple of months came many events and getting prepared for our baby. Most notably moving in together in between going to various music festivals and BBQ's. Then in September I achieved my main aim of the year in getting a promotion at work. This was obviously great timing with a new arrival on the way.

Most importantly in this year though, in November was the birth of my first child and my girlfriends second. It was a special moment for us and going into the new year makes our family feel complete. If you've read my previous posts on this subject you'll know with how much pride and relief this gave me being at the birth and how much in awe of my girlfriend I am.

Looking back on this year makes me realise how much has changed, how much I've had to grow up and become responsible. I am very grateful and thankful for all the elements that went into this year. I only aim to make next year better by continuing on the work I've done this year, ensuring I'm successful both in the family front and in the work front.

I guess to wrap up 2011 I must say this, Thanks to everyone for reading my blog, I promise the next one won't be like some terrible review show that you see on TV at this time of the year. And most importantly thank you to my girlfriend whose blog you can read here. She has been fantastic this year to me and has helped me get through the Ups and downs and everything. Thank you @peagreengwin I'm so happy beyond words and it's all down to her and I look forward to the future with her ever more so but I am pretty darn happy with the present and don't want to wish away the time right now, Live for the present guys!

See you all in 2012.

Wrapped round her little finger

SPOILER ALERT - This weeks post may seem a little mushy, normal order shall be restored next week, I promise!

So it's been around a week since my last post, here did I leave off, oh yes thats right, my girlfriend was in excruciating pain as she as having contractions. Now as much as I'd love to go into the in's and out's of all the fine details about the labour and some of the events that occurred, I don't think it's too appropriate, purely because I have already discussed the events with my girlfriend and It has become clear that although privately between us we may laugh at certain things *cough* needle *cough* injection *cough* unpleasant place *cough* that these things should not be discussed openly in public, so I shall respect that.

So it's been one week on and gladly my girlfriend successfully gave birth to our beautiful baby daughter. Our daughter was born on Friday morning missing her daddys birthday by 5 hours and 34 minutes, meaning that we don't share a birthday but they are pretty close. I was present the whole time of the birth and saw my daughter come into this world face upwards rather than the traditional sideways view. I saw this little blue colour being come into the world like an exterestrial alien coming in to invade the planet. Infact thats quite a good comparison because aliens come to change peoples lives in the movies and conquer earth and nothing is ever the same again, and that is pretty much what babies do. My life previously was self centred focused on myself and now it has drastically changed to nappies, feeding, cuddling and more nappies.

As I started down looking at my daughter halfway into this world I was still unsure what this baby was as me and my girlfriend had opted not to find out the gender in the scan and spent the remaining 5 months or so having people say, "Oh what are you having" "Oh I couldn't not find out, I mean how can you get prepared properly" as me and my girlfriend grin through our teeth thinking theres more colours than blue or pink!

My daughter was born a healthy 6lb 14oz she was placed on my girlfriends tummy and as I looked at her she opened her eyes. From that moment I knew that this creature, no matter how small and harmless looking, has power over me for the rest of her life (although I'd like to keep that a secret from her for as long as possible) She already has Daddy wrapped round her little finger, and although she had at that point only just breathed and opened her eyes, I remain the proudest daddy in the whole world and will always be proud of this little one everyday of my life.

Fatherhood for me truly begins now, and I am looking forward to it. I thrive on doing anything I can with her and it will pain me when I return to work and have to spent 8 hours away from her! She along with her mummy and big sister are my world. I'd often say to my friends that when Liverpool won the Champions League in 2005, that was the happiest day of my life. That has now been relegated to the second happiest, as the birth of my daughter now holds first position, er wait I should probably say the day I met my girlfriend is actually second place relegated 2005 to third.

My girlfriend is truly remarkable for what she has done. I may have joked a lot and said anyone could do childbirth but they can't. Evey woman who does it is truly remarkable and I love my girlfriend ever so much for having to go through what she has. The outcome is truly beautiful our gorgeous little girl, and I'd like to say worth the pain she suffered. I will always look at my girlfriend in a different light for hat she has done and been able to do, and I'll love her forever for doing so

So my baby girl is nearly a week old, that week has gone way to fast and I can see the coming weeks, months and years going by even faster. I'll cherish each memory made with my children, take as many photos as possible, cherish every hug and kiss and I love you daddy as if it were the last, and I will set out on the path of my ultimate goal of being the best daddy ever. Because I may be proud everyday of my life of my daughter but I also want her to be as equally proud of her Daddy.