Over the last week I've been thinking....
I was stood in the kitchen washing the dishes (Shock horror a man doing the dishes) I can't confess that well and eldest ER was being abnormally cute. As I watched her prance around singing and pretending to be an adult it hit further home that I'm now a Dad and how much I enjoyed it. TV is only just 2 months old and so far (knock on wood) isn't any trouble, she sleeps through the night and enjoys falling sleep on me, something I at the moment Cherish as much as possible as I know one day this will stop and she will eventually be too embarrassed to be seen with her Daddy let alone fall asleep in my arms.
The truth is no matter what I do in life nothing will ever compare to being Daddy. I want my children to call me Daddy for as long as possible, I don't look forward to the day when it gets shortened to Dad, as my children will always be the frail little creatures that look up to me and rely on me to feed, clothe and bathe them. To nurse them to sleep and to kiss any bumps or bruises better.
I miss the children when I'm at work, I try keep work to what it needs to be but inevitably I have to work more than 40 hour weeks, I know that, my girlfriend knows that, its the way it is but I always try to rush home to see the kids before they go to bed, unless I'm working a late shift and then theres no chance as I don't finish until midnight.
Each day I have off I cherish to spend time with my daughters and their mummy to ensure we create happy and enjoyable memories for the girls to look back on and share in the future. And naturally I worry about they girls when I am not around and even scare myself at the thought of what would happen if something bad as to happen to me, but I try snap out of this quickly and focus on the here, the now and the positives and the happy memories we have created.
But most importantly I enjoy and cherish every time I see the girls smile and laugh and I feel sad every time their mummy sends me a picture message/tweet of them smiling of laughing and I am not there and have missed it in person.