I miss the children when I'm at work, I try keep work to what it needs to be but inevitably I have to work more than 40 hour weeks, I know that, my girlfriend knows that, its the way it is but I always try to rush home to see the kids before they go to bed, unless I'm working a late shift and then theres no chance as I don't finish until midnight.
I am envious of my beautiful girlfriend, although I know that she in return is envious of me. I envy her that she gets to be around the kids all day and do constructive things with them and create memories that they will learn to cherish and look back on fondly and cherish as she cherishes the time with them also. Whilst I am at work, don't get me wrong I enjoy my work and find it rewarding and challenging, but I enjoy spending time with my family more, naturally.
But I am also well aware that my girlfriend is also envious of me for the exact opposite, that I can go out and work and try build something for myself outside of the family home. That I am earning money and not reliant on government handouts that barely let you support your family if your a honest person as she is due to the system being flooded by chances who make it harder for the honest people out there. She misses as well an adult conversation during the day time and I can admit it that given we switched roles for a week I'd probably be dying to go back to work also, as she is.
It's been hard for her since going on maternity leave and I feel and worry about her everyday whilst I am at work. She has one child to contend with that can't communicate and another who due to our circumstances financially we can't allow regular time with other children her age. I know there is help out there but when you seek this help it's not a fast response and we are pursuing this help. It's funny because as soon as you owe money to an authority be it the council etc they hound you and make you feel guilty but when the shoe is on the other foot and you are trying to get the help and support they tell you you are entitled too they drag their feet like a meerkat in a desert!
I guess what I originally set out to say in this post and what has transformed into a rant is that I am very grateful for my girlfriend. She feels trapped some days and helpless like she can't cope, and I try everyday when I read her blog posts and talk to her while I am at work to put my feet in her shoes and understand what she's feeling and how she's coping. And I can say this despite what she says, and what she thinks of herself, shes doing a great job, I had the kids for one day and the littlest one ended up upside down in her pram and the eldest complaining that her hands were too cold! My girlfriend, does a fantastic job everyday and every time I come home the three girls have had a great day.
Thank you Pooh x